Sweden to combat Russian subs with underwater gay neon sign

  
Sweden has had regular visits by Russian submarines snooping around the waters outside capital Stockholm for decades. The difference is, back in the 1980s they had helicopters, destroyers and manpower to hunt them properly, whereas now the defense cuts have scaled the response back to having an overweight general shake his fist at the water for 20 minutes per business day (10 minutes on Fridays, due to union regulations).

Clearly, the time has come for alternative solutions, and pacifist group Svenska Freds has just the thing: An underwater neon sign to scare homophobic submarine captains away!
  
The sign reads: “Welcome to Sweden. Gay since 1944.” which indicates the year homosexuality was de-criminalized. 

Well, if nothing else, I have to tip my hat in recognition of “thinking outside the box”. 

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The Pacifist Defense

  

FI party leader, ex-communist and public drunkard Gudrun Schyman

According to Swedish political party FI, the Feminist Initiative, the best way for Sweden to safeguard itself against aggressive neighbor Russia is to dismantle the last few batallions that still remain of the defense. Instead, Sweden should “go pacifist” and focus on combating racism and domestic violence. This, the party argues, will solve the problem of Russian jets practicing bombing runs on Swedish targets and repeated visits by Russian submarines in the waters of Stockholm.

If the preceding paragraph made you go “Huh?”, let me assure you that you’re not alone. I have written about loon party FI before, with their certifiably insane party program (all men to be sent to indoctrination camps, sex ed for preschoolers and much, much more) and their creative explanation for international terrorism (they’re MEN, damnit!

Honestly, it’s starting to feel like poking fun at a retard. But this particular retard happens to have seats in many local governments (including Stockholm) and has a good chance of gaining seats in parliament next election. FI has been actively promoted by music artists like Pharrell and Robyn, and just this week received an adoring and largely uncritical promotional piece by BBC. And they just won’t shut up nor come to their senses, so I have no choice but to once again put the spotlight on the baffling results of when a group of Swedish feminists put their heads together.

Without further ado, here is party leader Gudrun Schyman and her inner circle dealing with the national defense:

“The core of our security policy is about creating security for the people. But today there is a growing perception that security is all about which nation or group that can scrounge up the greatest military force. But safety is never achieved by ramping up systemic violence. Instead, this is achieved by countering these systems of violence, protect battered people and deal with the causes of violence.

Weapons and militarism is rarely a solution to a conflict, and armed conflicts between nations are not the biggest security threat either in Sweden or globally. Militarism is nourished by masculinity norms and have the same mechanisms as the other structural violence against people. Violence is about exercising power, and this is something that boys and men are taught goes with being both patriotic and being a masculine man.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), men’s domestic violence claim more deaths each year than all the world’s armed conflicts together or any epidemic ever made and this is a serious security issue. In Sweden, 17-20 women are killed annually on average by a man in a close or formerly close relationship.

At the same time we have a global structural racism, where a white minority since the transatlantic slave trade and colonialism continues to broadcast the notion that white people are the norm for humanity. A structural global racism than today in the expression of hate crimes, violence and murder and goes hand in hand with a global order in which countries in the West believe they have the right to cause havoc with military means in countries in the East and South.

We need an innovative security policy that puts the focus on the causes of violence and its context if we are going to meet it with better policy and targeted interventions. UN urges its member states to dramatically reduce their military budgets and instead give priority to efforts to combat the global problem of security violence in close relationships. In response to hate crimes against afro-Swedes, Jews and Muslims te UN is sharply critical of Sweden, with a call to strengthen the work against hate crime.”

And that’s how Sweden can thumb its nose at those silly Russians on the other side of the narrow Baltic sea and settle back in absolute safety. 

Any questions?